It Started With Tattoos

Tattoos.

I have had plans to get covered in ink, yes, you read that right, I said COVERED in ink since I was a little girl.

To me, its a creative outlet.

About a year ago I began to put together ideas for what I wanted to get. It's not my first rodeo at planning a sleeve so I was skeptical about my ability to actually follow through even from the planning process.

Not an awesome start.

Then one night, sitting on my bed with a tea cup in hand while Pinteresting an upper arm piece it just came to me... I realized I had held this decision back for sooo long because they are permanent.

Why is fear so damn powerful?

Wanting something all my life, hell, I picked boyfriends based on percentage of tatted body parts! and yet this fear was stronger than my desire.

I was afraid of the forever of it. How it would look in my career environment. How it would make me look at first impression.

I mean, yes, we are only talking about tattoos here but fear is one of those things that affect your life in every area in such a sneaky way you might not even see it happening.

The fear of change- fear of making bold moves.

Fear of doing things period because lets face it, if you don't do anything you are not risking anything.

But who wants to live in a perpetual stagnant place!?? NOT ME.

That night getting my sleeve became very personal. It was a battle against myself.

I had been telling myself forever how much I truly wanted a sleeve. I did research. I found the pieces I wanted. I found a good artist. I saved the money to do it. WHAT WAS THE ONLY THING I HAD NOT GOTTEN TO? Actually doing it.

I planned it, really well, over and over Virgo style, but I never took action on it.

All I had to do was ignore the voice in my head filled with anxiety and listen to my intuition who had been telling me all along, this change was part of my growth.

So I did it. I made an appointment and I took my scared ass to it.

My first session was intense to say the least. Luckily I went with my adventure partner Michelle who gave me endless emotional support while I made crimson looking faces of pure pain, plus the artist didn’t disappoint.

Seeing how his vision of my future sleeve was exactly like the one I had in my head helped me lay to rest any remaining panic about this decision and helped make the next four hours of level eight pain very doable.

I only took two breaks which I will proudly say I did not ask for, the artist offered them and they were not for more than one whole minute each. Leaving that place I felt like the MOTHERFUCKING MAN.

Look at your girl 5 sessions later ready for Halloween 2019.

This small choice of saying fuck you to my fear of getting a sleeve magically led to helping me do the same in so many other areas of my life.

I started school. I have switched jobs and now work from home. I can say NO when something isn't what I want.

Of course it is still hard at times because fear doesn't just go away. But all you have to do is take action. Get that energy of "I CANT" out and invite in the " I CAN DO IT ALL" vibes you need in order to truly live authentically.

Bottom line- whether is tattoos or a change of job or a change in faith or a change in your relationship, don't listen to the voices that put fear in you. Listen to the voice that tells you, you are an unstoppable force. (Unless its some real crazy shit, don't use me as an excuse to do real crazy shit)

Taking that one step forward on that one thing thats been in the back of your mind forever will lead to a ripple effect of getting shit done. Believe me.